Please note: This article contains a few explicit phrases concerning sexual techniques. Should you be underage or should you feel that the arguments discussed could offend your sensibility please do not read any further. Thank you
The editorial staff
This workshop is apt to develop a collective thought concerning the “Absolute Theory of the perfect blowjob”
(To view the full text click on the “read all” line printed in red under the heading of this article)
After the incredible success of “Supportive haemorrhoids” we will now give start to another workshop on the web!
The need I feel to write is a personal liberation as words crowd on the keys of my lap-top. I’ll try to proceed by images.
I’m on the train for Pescara, we’ve already crossed Ancona and the Conero valley and the railway starts running alongside the sea. In the distance we can see a tiny beach and a procession of camping areas with house trailers and bungalows at approximately 10 meters from the train-tracks. How can the people manage to sleep at night when trains go by?
Why didn’t they go further up north or maybe even a little more south where camping places cost the same but at least no trains disturb night’s rest?
This decision put’s me under pressure. I’m afraid of living together with millions of other people who after a year of toil and trouble decide to spend a week of vacation right up against the railway.
Why do they have so much hatred for themselves?
For which reason do people have to punish themselves in this way?
There’s a connection between amassed, piled-up camping places parked along railway tracks and the war in Iraq.
I’m absolutely certain about this affirmation.
Bush will never be substituted by another, things will never change.
The Czar with Lenin, Berlusconi with Prodi.
The quality of Life depends upon the number of people interested in spending their vacation nearby a railway track.
They absolutely cannot do without the noise.
It’s a phenomena that involves a major number of people belonging to all social classes.
You need to have quite a lot of money to be able to spend a week in Cortina. The rich people all amass right there. Why? Is there a reason to this? Because they feel at home, that’s why! A mass vacation in Cortina, just like in Porto Rotondo or Rimini, means facing the same problems as at home; automobile exhaust gases inhaled at the same intensity as in the center of Milan, the same level of noise and if you’re that lucky….the same traffic jams left behind.
Would it be possible for you to survive in a different way?
Taking a walk along the Santo Janni beach in Formia I stop and take a look at the happy people bathing in the sea, young girls run back and forth in their explosive shapes and forms with up to date, modern bathing costumes and…they dive between waves…in between floating garbage. Why? I ask myself why?
I feel different but in truth I understand that I too, in other ways, spent years perpetrating destructive actions towards myself and my own pleasure. But I also consider myself innocent. I sinned against my own self, against my own pleasures.
I am part of that damned race which spent the last thirty years in haughtiness having, at the end, severely paid for it: trying to convince those who slept along railway tracks that they were mistaken.
The pretense of making important speeches everyday, preaching the Truth…this is big crap.
I repent (oh, yes and how I do repent!!!!).
It’s a matter of errors for the following two reasons:
Just even thinking of trying to convince through words, speeches, pamphlets, processions, books etc. is a useless attempt. People change their minds after prolonged and complex experiences. Ideas, ways of thinking, they are the projection of experience. It makes no sense in judging other people’s experiences. The youth movements of the early seventies started with the miniskirt, with long hair, rock & roll parties. The ideologies followed thereafter bringing the revolutionary spirit to an end.
Trying to convince others is really a drag. To be a missionary isn’t all that interesting. People rightly hate you because you are arrogant, supposing, invading and authoritarian just like those who wish to impose “their” truth.
The only way to react positively is by trying to improve the quality of YOUR life. Get involved with YOURSELF life by living satisfying and exciting experiences. This will improve YOUR life, your relationship with others, your self confidence and your capacities. And maybe someone, seeing you dance to the rhythm of this new music, will try it out. And should he or she discover that he or she is really good at dancing, well maybe it won’t seem all that wonderful to go and fight a war in Vietnam.
A series of facts pass through my mind. A personal thoughts where young girls beat each other, cars burn in the night (Paris? Rome? Gallarate?) bombs on Beirut (but it could just the same be Israel, Lebanon or Afghanistan) a pensioner shoots from his bedroom window, ships loaded with undercover immigrants instead of cargo goods, a group of female teenagers residing in a French boarding school rape a coeval friend using a piece of wood and torturing her thereafter the entire night. I talk to Angese (www.angese.it) about this. Angese is my trustworthy philosopher. He says “just take a glimpse at those guys who carry a gun on school property. They all dress the same way. Dark glasses, black hats and a long black overcoat which touches the ground. It’s fashion, it’s a fashion”. In the United States they are currently considering to abolish long black overcoats at school.
It’s the club logic; the logic reasoning of a caveman, a primitive warrior: simple…..to eliminate what stands in front of us without too much questioning.
Once you’ve killed everybody generally all the problems you had with them, with everybody, come to an end.
This kind of logic is bringing the world to a collapse because it excludes e strikes billions of people making the millions go crazy.
The destructive power of every single individual is enormous due to the fact that we live in a complex world. Nowadays any fool who gets to injecting blue ink into 4 grapefruits neatly displayed at a supermarket can succeed in causing the collapse of consumption of grapefruits throughout the whole of Europe.
This is a moment of change for humanity. A great chaos (please visit the blog at the voice “Le orde del Caos” (the hordes of chaos).
What can we do to change things around?
It’s practically impossible to think that we can change Bush’s mind, change Islamic terrorists, change the castaways living in the suburbs, those who have gone crazy due to pain and solitude…
The only possibility we remain with is to commit ourselves to our own pleasure, to our own well-being.
We’ve talked far to much about how Berlusconi’s being evil a far too little about what can lead us to paradise.
For example no left wing party has ever taken time to explain, no alternative newspaper or magazine either…they’ve never expressed a clear position concerning the fundaments of oral pleasure.
And this, believe me, is very, very serious because oral pleasure or rather oral sex is one of the best experiences we can share on this lush planet.
Why don’t we talk about this? Why don’t they talk about it?
Why is the concept of sharing knowledge concerning this specific argument not considered a strategic goal of the movement?
Do we still want to continue hurting ourselves?
(see “camping places along railway tracks”)
Therefore, brothers and sisters, I turn to you, to those who share a different dream for this country. Cooperate, participate to the workshop which has the aim of spreading your personal experiences so as to give hints and indications to others who can experiment them. Don’t be egoistic.
To understand the potentials of the initiatives of the present, popular workshop we have to keep in mind the fact that the majority of Italians, victims of millenniums of patriarchal heritage, firmly believe that oral sex is a violent encounter between teeth and private parts of two different people. Something just a little more delicate than Zidane’s head blow.
Others have never really understood why people have oral sex. It’s the Culture of Pain which repeats itself through the diffusion of an err vision that oral sex stands at the antipodes of pleasure.
Should you wish to verify these words of mine feel free to visit any search engine whatsoever keying words such as “blowjob” a see what comes out of it: you shall discover websites that offer free oral ejaculation videos. 9 of 10 after a number of tongue, lip and finger acrobatics that the woman will have invested on her man, he will move away from her (!!!!!) and will start masturbating (!!!!!) himself and will subsequently ejaculate without any further contact with his partner (!!!!!) whatsoever.
This kind of post coitus onanism has the monopole of the porno scene because it is exactly what people want to see!!!! And thanks to statistics concerning internet porn sites the producers of these films are more than certain that they’re doing the right thing. And it is evident that people have sex in this way if they also WANT the war in Iraq.
This is why we have to improve the noble arts of oral sex so as to avoid that mass media pornography change them into the horror shows of the Porn of Solitude.
Now that we’ve finished with preambles and have cleared intents (we must justify the areas of moral resistance which lie within each one of us) I would like to open doors by proposing what I feel technically superior.
This technical information needs more than a simple introduction (this is my last excuse, I swear!). Maybe women will find it strange (if not irritating) that there be this male inclination towards giving technical descriptions or explanations of everything. On the contrary (in an oral sense) you cannot face oral sex in a different way. In fact women (who live at a more emotional level) consider the romantic and sentimental aspects of intercourse far more interesting than the technical ones. Men and women are different. You have pity for the male gender. We are most decisively inferior as far as these aspects are concerned. We experience sex by miming swagger so as to defend our stupid position concerning male power but in truth we are afraid, anxious. We do not feel accepted in our intimate manhood. Often, whilst proudly exhibiting our penis we’ve noticed the reaction of disgust it caused in women’s faces. We’ve all suffered because of this.
Therefore, please be patient…. If you love us help us in letting ourselves go, reassure us e put us in the technical conditions to reach an orgasm without having to worry about anything other than the pleasure of reaching an orgasm which is rather difficult for us considering the state of emotional tension we find ourselves in (male frigidity exists. Please turn to the article on the following blog la frigidità maschile) We need to understand slowness and tenderness and this is only possible if we feel accepted and welcomed and if the technical mechanisms of our pleasure are kept in mind. The male clitoris and the L point are less known and underestimated and this is a problem for us. Men have the habit of doing everything with ardor contemporarily exhibiting their muscle power and that is the exact contrary of what we should really be doing to allow us to enjoy sex fully. Please ladies, take control of the situation yourselves.
The number one ideal position:
The man lies flat on his back, the woman (or who substitutes her) should remain crouched between his legs.
This position will allow her to have full access to the male apparatus and will allow him to remain in a completely relaxed and passive condition.
This is important because the muscular tension tends to diminish exalting wonderful sensations.
In this position the woman can hold the penis with her hand and gradually move it up and down whilst with the other hand she can caress Point L situated between testicles and anus. She can contemporarily hold the glans in her mouth and start stimulating the male clitoris (located just below the head’s buttocks) with her tongue.
It is very important not to squeeze the penis too tightly and to avoid any contact whatsoever with teeth (hey, that could really hurt!) The more the situation is soft and slippery, the more intense the pleasure. When the man reaches his maximum, the woman should start sucking the tip of the penis rhythmically . This action is transmitted directly through the urine channel right down to the base of the penis where Point L is located. And this, believe me, is really good.
The Czechoslovakian supportive blowjob is a particular, a very particular technique. In truth it is the very complex thing but I personally find it a fascinating hypothesis. As before, the man just lies flat on his back relaxing, the woman (or who in her place) takes the base of the penis in her hand without any extra movement whatsoever. She should just hold it without doing anything to stimulate an erection. She should place her lips on the head of the penis, and, without moving her mouth, should just start sucking the tip rhythmically just as if she were sucking on a straw (the aspiration sends a series of messages through the urine channel right up until the base of the penis). All the rest should remain motionless. At the beginning it may seem as if nothing is happening but hold on, wait a while and……the rhythmic sucking will stimulate Point L.
The lateral blowjob: this oral relationship is for lazy people. Both man and woman lie on their sides obviously facing each other. Maybe she can place a cushion beneath her head to be more comfortable. She starts to masturbate the him with the sole use of her mouth. Please note that she should only have the glans or head in her mouth, not the entire penis in such a way that either her inferior lip or her tongue touch the male clitoris just beneath the head’s buttocks. Both man and woman remain motionless. Her mouth will remain soft and only her tongue will delicately move. The more she is soft, warm, inviting and slippery the more…
The multiple orgasm: I firmly insist practicing it. Blowjobs should be slow and soft and allow the man to remain in a relaxed position because this will allow him to enjoy the experience at its maximum. On the contrary I personally find those porno film blowjobs done in a few minutes with him getting all worked up and trying to suffocate him really disgusting! Cultivating slowness, delicacy and male passivism you could even enjoy a multiple orgasm. I’m aware the sexologists deny the existence of a multiple orgasm but I’m sure they’re mistaken. It is possible! It’s a rare experience but it happens and it’s absolutely, shockingly intense. You experience a series of incredible orgasmic waves, one after the other, before and during orgasm. But it may also happen to have two consecutive orgasms. Obviously it’s not worth wanting to be hardheaded about it because the pressure could make things difficult but it’s always something new worthwhile knowing. It’s a great pleasure!
It is evident that you can obtain a multiple orgasm if you stimulate the male clitoris as well as Point L contemporarily. A while you’re at it, put some light finger pressure right there…on the erectile point inside the anus at about 3 centimeters depth (along the anus wall). Note: Could someone, or would someone like to support my thoughts by sharing their personal experience with us?
Related Articles:
How to drive a woman crazy with pleasure. Let’s begin a strategic workshop!!!!
Female’ s desire and the dream vacation
The rapist is frigid! That’ s why.
Female ejaculation. When do women ejaculate? Let’s open the debate.
Dear man: are you truly orgastic or are you frigid? Revolution begins from pleasure!
Everything you don’ t know about sex on Zen and the art of fucking
Commenti
Dario Franca and Jacopo Fo.
Dear
Dario Franca and Jacopo Fo.
I’m Ximena Rico a Colombian actress. I wonder if you can send me a list of the women oriented comedies monologues that you have written, I want to buy the books and I want to perform inEdinburgh festival so I do need also your authorization and procedure I should follow. I also ask you kindly an answer as soon as possible. Cheers.
Please contact me at [email protected]
Thank You very much for your time
Kind regards,
Ximena Rico.